Rain.....

A speck of cloud..
On a sunny afternoon..
Playing like a child
Running after the hazy moon

Another one...
In the resigning day..
joining a few others,
I fear rain...
I see around
The thirsty silent bloom here...
Clouds dancing with the wind
Will it be my terrace
Or will the rain gush far there.

Am waiting for that first drop now,
Either on my nose or eyes or head
All equally soothing...
Am waiting for the rush
some to hide deep into the soil bed

I imagine the parched floor ...
underneath a watery layer,
Life to the listless air around me,
Death to the sun's flare..

Will it be too long a wait?
Or will the clouds join by twilight
An hour's fight between hope and despair
I give up, it was too much to wish for
I get up, as the gold sun showed off his might,

Just then...
far and farther I see the clouds joined
Finally raging the war which I thought..
they had left behind,
I am all smiles as I see the colorless lines walking towards me,
From the sky to down below...
Rushing with and against the breeze
I welcome them with open arms,
too delighted to worry,
They jump with joy happy to embrace me..
I  forget the wait, forget the despair and the pain
So at the end of the day,
I get to welcome the rain

Silenced Fights...

There is a lot of action followed by an equally lot of commotion followed by an uncomfortable silence. Yes, this has been the pattern - repeated innumerable times for the past few months or say years in our country.

The 2G scam - reports/news flying here and there - We all glued to our television sets - adrenaline rushing - what happens next? We have our faith in India's judicial system reinforced then - finally they have nabbed Raja with Rani and they are behind bars. Though the scam clouds were grey with the huge financial losses the country had to incur and also the amount of corruption it highlighted in our political and business arena, the silver lining was that many of them were behind the bars. A couple of years later - they are out on bail, of course the courts promise there is a case against them. BUT they are free after all and even giving political statements with renewed confidence, as if they are back just after a break. We have to probably wait for a decade may be for justice or just forget it - our memory can hold only somethings and there are too many scams to follow after all.
The coal scam - PMO blamed. Media dedicated a few days for a total coverage - and now it lies in dumps or am I not keeping up with the story which may be is getting just a 1x1 space on the 10th page of the newspaper!
North grid failure - total blackout symbolizing the current governance. News room discussion - surprising figures out in the open! The power restored - all's well - no complaints after all the electricity was back and people could carry on with their lives, the power was indeed restored!
Anna's promise - the way he roped in "aam junta" - a national movement finally entering into politics after a few months, its future unknown, its strategy hazy and undisclosed. Whats next? Will we get the answer or a ray of hope during the 2014 election or will some small unknown party challenge the parliament and die its natural death? Again a silence after a big turmoil and a smile on Congress's face after a big shame!
Baba Ramdev - finally breaking his fast today - couldn't really follow or understand the conclusion or was I expecting too much seeing the yogic followers crowding the country's capital. He doesn't promise entering politics but promises changes - unclear and unpromising.

Has it become a trend or was I becoming too optimistic? What is maligning or hapless is - we know the disease and we also know that the cure just fails to fight against it! Optimism prevails and it is silenced every time the fight is silenced!

Is the disease of corruption or corrupt politicians too deep-rooted or powerful or may be strategically insurmountable as to defeat the ones who rise against it?
"Justice", "judicial evidence", "anti-corruption slogans" - all lose value and just remain like a "temporary offbeat track" in our minds till the next equally strong or stronger bolt to the country follows!

क्यूँ आह से मेरी
क्यूँ आह से मेरी
तुझे आती है शिकायत की आंच ...
हिजर की आग में मैं झुलसा हूँ कब से ,
मेरे अल्फाजों ने राह देखी है शिद्दत से तेरी ...

मुद्दत हुई रश्क  किये,
उनकी नज़र के पैमाने के लिए
उनकी नज़र के पैमाने के लिए...
हमें  साकी  होने की चाह में,
मुद्दत हुई डूबे हुए...
नशा तो अब भी है उनको ...
नशा तो अब भी है उनको ,
बस अब एक भी बूँद हमने डाली नहीं,
मुद्दत हुई उनको जाम दिए

The Prez game....!!

"Manmohan Singh" will be PM till 2014 - that's what Congress or in fact Sonia says. So, does this mean we will have 2 Prez and no PM till 2014? That's indeed a distorted form of democracy :) unless Manmohan Singh gives up public life, as he had declared a few days back, if any of the accusations are proved against him! But how can ignorance be proved? How do you quantify it? At the same time, isn't ignorance to corruption is same or at least as grave a crime as being involved in corruption? And specially if the ignorance has been done by the supreme PMO!

Anyway, now the world is seeing how a coalition government of the largest democracy can fight over a president candidature. Wish this power of filling the rashtrapati bhavan was given to the facebook users. How much fun we would have had!! Just imagine - our FB homes flooded with so many likes and dislikes, cascading shares and postings! One click on the like and dislike could change the future of the candidate :) There could have been a mobile game too - where we could have various hurdles like Mamta, MS, Sonia, Advani to be crossed to finally fill the Prez chair :) It would have been fun with background rabindra sangeet or italian music at appropriate points. I would say it would have been more interesting and unpredictable that farmville(simply because farmville is the only FB game am aware of :))...And when finally if A P J Kalam(I wish!!) was the winner - we could then jump on to another game to decide how the UPA govt would be disintegrated and what combinations could make the next coalition :)...while the world would watch the largest democracy again fighting over another chair!

We, the silent middle class?

Petrol price touching beyond 80 in Bangalore - didn't really come as a surprise, it was the need of the hour. The fuel prices cannot be left subsidized. The UPA govt had shouted this and justified the rise. As a responsible tax paying citizen we concurred. Diesel is not affected and though I don't own a diesel vehicle, am happy the price of diesel didn't increase - for the fear that it may have caused a similar increase in my monthly budget. I can still manage traveling by whatever limited and shoddy public transport the govt has provided, but I need to eat and buy groceries, milk, basic stuff to run a household. So, the middle class adjusted - may be also because we are so much exasperated by our day to day lives that it is very difficult to analyse and act on the political and economic situation in India. So, 10 days we cribbed, flooding FB with our posts or chit-chatting over social interactions - criticizing the move and then finally getting back to our weekend and weekday activities.

A news item which has failed to leave the business section for a past couple of months - Rupee has been falling because of global and internal effects. But it may be temporary as is being read by the middle class  in the newspapers. Gold (and of course dollars!) are the safest investment bets, with the sensex sliding smoothly with each passing day. But, we the middle class are patient, we will wait and watch, patience is a virtue which has been ingrained quite deep especially in situations like these...

Then a few days back, the FM expressed worry on the non-existing industrial growth that was reported for the month of April - investments declining etc. Newspapers were full of that resulting in creases on our foreheads too -- declining investment especially from the foreign land, uncertain policies, delays in approvals and the list goes on. India Inc is criticizing - and newspaper/media is getting its daily bread by showing how the prices of bread has increased in the past two years! We, the middle class, are re-organizing our budgets to fit the new situation - some are even thinking of getting better or more jobs for their finances to work - after all we accept and have been accepting for the past 60 years that govt process is slow with loopholes as big as hundreds of crore sometimes.

But not everything is slow. A few quick policies are being rolled out - for eg IITs and other engg institutes will have a common entrance with Class XII board marks to be taken into consideration -- what a suggestion - it was surely the need of the hour!! This is not the first time Sibal has tried to inflict something nonsensical. But, anyway, we, the middle class, will wait till it is enforced(may be followed by increased quota and sub-quota!). Not everyone needs to bother also, only those people whose children or who themselves might have IITs as their dream institutes to get in. Everybody else can relax - we, the middle class, have our homes to take care of. "My country" is to be studied only in social sciences!

And now the latest piece of news: the S&P de-rating India from the list of investment destinations or whatever we call it. Our FM doesn't give a damn - he may not till the investments come to a halt to zero may be (anyway he has to handle the situation only till he becomes the Prez or latest till 2014). We, the middle class, are waiting for the surprise package from the govt which will suddenly lift all the fears and let us continue with our daily grind, otherwise life still goes on.

I don't know what the middle class can do, but certainly more than treat the current events as mere news articles, that keep on changing daily.

A spark is the trigger to a fire - we have to fuel it to engulf our nation...but are we, the middle class, ready to burn our hands?

The Aamir effect

Ok..I had been memorizing for over a week that 6th May is a Sunday and it meant "Satyamev Jayate" would be aired on the TV and wouldn't miss it ! Even though the timing was a bit odd - 11 am in the morning and this time on a Sunday is for tea and newspaper, while telling my maid how to clean the nooks and corners which otherwise are left unnoticed through out the rest of the week. But still I thought this Sunday would be an exception.
So Sunday, that is May 6th came with its full glory and warmth - with the Sun especially shining bright. I remembered that it was "big moon" day or whatever we call it. But, somehow my memory tricked me in forgetting that Aamir's much awaited show would be telecasted on not just one but 2 channels( or was it more)!!! In fact I read somewhere that first time a reality show was being aired on DD and a pvt channel simultaneously - such is the charisma or Aamir.
The clock struck 11 - my TV remain muted. No activity - no Aamir and no Satyamev Jayate. I had totally forgotten my childhood hero and his show. Now my fondness for Aamir traces back to my school days when QSQT was released - I had watched that movie 3 times on the VCR on a single day! And yes, how cute he looked - he had become our heartthrob within a few days of the movie hitting the theaters - not that it is unusual, I think half the nation would have fallen in love with him.
Next day, that is on Monday, the reviews of the show were everywhere - on the radio and also in print. Appreciations galore -  by the way when was the last time somebody criticized him :)
Anyway, the point is that I missed his show - my husband said I should have gone for Tata Sky plus - in fact Aamir also has been advertising it !
So what next - I have to rely on "you-tube" now - my savior whenever I miss any show on TV which I would have liked to watch. Though it might be relayed again - but who wants to see all the ads - I can watch him uninterrupted on you-tube - just hoping that somebody would have uploaded it! :)

Just being thoughtful

"Think before you leap" -- but if I think I wont really leap :-) Thoughtfulness -- is it an overrated trait? Does it mar spontaneity? Is it an indication of inactivity? When you are a kid, your moral science teacher leaves no stone unturned in making you feel -- "Gods want you to be thoughtful - in your actions, deeds and thoughts" :) So, we grew up thinking what to say next , how to act best. Till we reach the big bad world - where no body waits for your thoughts. And then you are introduced to "Actions speak louder than words! (or should it be thoughts?)" .
Am I what I think? or Am I what I do? I may not always do what I think after all :-) And can others really know what one thinks? Or they can only see what one does? So are thoughts whats inside you while most of actions are what you really want to be? Is that what thoughtfulness means - to do what you think...as against what we think - that is to think before you do!! 

Why?

So many "whys" from Myra sometimes make me feel ashamed - because of 2 reasons - one: how less curious I am ! two: I cant answer all her "whys" ! So, my googling has certainly increased, blame it on my lack of knowledge or awareness or my increased forgetfulness! But, yes its a good experience learning new things...otherwise our lives are generally confined to work place knowledge or current affairs if and when get time.
Like last evening - while she saw a sprout coming out of one of the seeds she had put for germination, she asked: "Why does a plant come out of a seed only?" or "Why cant doesn't a bumble bee bite and a honey bee bites?" or "Why cant we buy an ATM, so that I dont need to go to office?" :-) 

For better or worse!

What is thinking positive? Is it thinking that whatever we do will yield good results or is it just a wishful thinking that in future, times will certainly be better.

Is positive thinking a way to escape from the details that actually might indicate a different and much worse outcome altogether? And in case if our minds actually processes some historical data and based on that come with a probability of success or failure - is it a hindrance in taking risks? Is it better to assume rather than assess.

"Things will be better" -- ofcourse in reality it doesnt always happen. But in believing this do we escape the best things that might be happening today. Do we tend to believe that today is not that good and tomorrow will certainly bring good times?

So, how do we know today is "the best" that could ever happen to us or the "better than the best" will only arrive in future...Or may be we should just believe in "good" -- better, best, worse, worst are all hypothetical superlatives that distort the good!!

Shop till you drop!!!

Shopping is a good purgative - when you are feeling low or may not be so low. It's a welcome change, that leaves you with only change in your pocket. And mind you, its not just a woman thing - everybody enjoys it equally! What with so many kids shops blooming across the town like the mayflower trees. Anyway, consumerism has been given a new definition - I would say it certainly matches the high definition experience! You can shop anywhere - in the malls, superstores, the small corner shops, the sales people coming at your doorstep and not to forget the e-retail that is catching up in India.

Last week only we had the "aamwaala" at our apartment door step - and those mangoes were not ordinary ones, they were direct from the farmers! That was the USP and gave people the feeling as if they are plucking mangoes directly from the tree and putting into their mouths! And as if that was not enough, he even promised to deliver it to your homes in the apartment and collect the booty. Heights of home delivery - people didn't want to carry the kilos back to their house. Nowadays we prefer lifting the weights in the gym rather than the weight of groceries. It's all about giving oneself a sense of pseudo-achievement - the end result might just be the same though ! :-) Anyway the promised shopping experience has hit the nerve of the consumers and has left no stone unturned in making them believe as they are the king or to be more sensitive to all the genders - "rulers"!

The second shopping experience - which I feel is also a very time consuming experience so much so that sometimes I am left with the feeling after shopping that if I could just buy time in a mall!  So how does one start ones journey to one of these magnificent larger than life malls?

1) Take your car out of the basement parking of your skyscraper and then reach your apartment gate 

2) Wait at the apartment gate for the traffic to move - specially if it is Saturday evening.

3) Let your car crawl till the next signal - while you are wondering that two clocks were ticking - one your time clock which never stops and just starts ticking faster when you are in a hurry and second your petrol tank clock as your car moves at the lowest gear.

4) Anyway once you cross all the signals on the way to your mall, you see the parking at the mall has a huge  queue of cars to be parked

5) By this time you are in two minds whether you should really go ahead with the plans, whether this wave of consumerism and crowd of malls is for your benefit, whether the corner shops with all the items stacked and hidden was a better shopping experience!

6) Anyway once you reach the mall, just the smell of the atmosphere inside make you leave all your worries in the car parked in the 10th level of the mall - you memorize the parking spot number lest you are unable to find where your car is parked on the way back!

7) You and your family are so elated that you try not to mind bumping into the sea of humans - all amazed by the colorful items the shops hold, the floor of the mall shining making you feel a resident of a Dubai like city . And while you are appreciating the concrete beauty around, you end up spending from the credit card - stretching your budget bit by bit or shop by shop. Why not if it could give that happiness which had been elusive for so long with the increasing inflation and stagnant salaries! 

8) Spending at least a quarter of your day and your monthly budget in the mall, you finally head back after much protest from your companions. Journey back is mostly about pondering what the credit card bill may be next month and promising to oneself that these visits to the malls should really be curtailed!

So are we stuck with nothing better to do? Is shopping more of a addictive pass time leaving you short of time rather than a matter of need? But, there is a solution to everything and here it is - e-retail and teleshopping. You can buy anything from groceries to baby products to cold storage food products! You click and pay(nothing is like a free lunch or free shopping coupon!) and its at your door step! Though it cant give you the experience but the time is not far away when some mobile app will be developed that can simulate that too. Imagine if there could be a mobile game on your android phone which gave you the feeling of being in a mall! So even though you might win all the time but will end up losing your hard earned money! And I am certain it would end up blowing up your credit card - but not to worry as there would be a solution for that too -- virtual money will be a big thing soon!!!! So "Consumer" is certainly the ruler - it pays for buying the products and also pays for spending!!!

Then also I was here and you were there,

but just there and nowhere...

hiding behind the dunes of miles,

but just miles I could see and no more

The wind blew and the time flew..

I am here and still here...

No longer can I feel the distance

You are still there but now here very near...

Want my cup of tea

It had been lingering on my mind for quite long now - just the way its effect lingers on my taste buds till I have it again - my cup of tea....

I wanted to write about it when one of my friends told he had given up tea! How can you give it up? Anyway I just let it be. And then on my flight back from Chandigarh, the airline magazine I read was totally dedicated to tea. Was it a marketing strategy? Because during the flight I bought 2 expensive cups of tea, which was quite unlike me. I promised to myself that I would blog about it as soon as I reached home! But then I let it be...yet again.
Sometime during the last week I had been sharing my evening cup with one friend or the other...just appreciating how the same ingredients make it taste so different each and every time. The taste changes everytime if I have with that extra spicy "lahsun sev" or with the simple old fashion marie biscut(not biscuit!). I thought I would certainly write about it - my journey since I became a teaholic...not that I have it many a times in a day, but I want that 1 cup of good tea to keep me going.

The morning glory of that cup or the evening peace it brings after a tiring day....how it relaxes exactly you like an ideal husband should! I had an extra liking for that roadside 3 rupees(now its surely more with inflation) tea accompanied with the piping hot mirch bajji just near my old office building.
Tracing my journey from the beginning, I had started with "Punjabi" tea - the big glass with thick tea made mostly of milk and that extra helping of sugar. You reach a Gurdwara in Punjab at 5 am and you will be greeted with that weighty glass of tea!
Quite a many years later, down south here, I discovered various ways of experimenting with it - cardomom, ginger, fennel- one at a time or all thrown together. The east effect - leaf tea with just 1 spoon of milk or lemon tea with that beautiful golden color. Finally a couple of years back, thanks to my neighbour, I had a tryst with Kahwa - the kashmiri chai. I would have never imagined that one could have tea with almonds in it!!
Then further south - in the southern hemisphere...while I was in Oz, I got to taste the sweet cinnamon tea -- better known as "chai latte"...my saviour whenever I had the urge for that cup on the move in the Australian continent.
Then when I was on the equator a few days back - got to taste "teh chi" - tea in singapore - not very strong, but lovely color and rejuvenating effect!
Now my latest discovery -- tea with lemon grass...strong smell with equally strong taste...but no doubt good one!! Many more which I appreciate -- kulhad chai, cutting tea in that small glass ...cups bought to fit various moods when I drink tea...as if cups add flavor, actually they do at a different level..signaling the mind that the flavor has been enhanced... :-)
So while a write, I have put the tea to boil and soon I will have that cup ready...for me to sip and think...I finally blogged about it...and the tea continues to linger now as a blog too...