Living again...

A shriek of cry

One moment...

A carefree sleep...

Another one.

Half closed eyelids

One moment.

Open up to find me...

Another one.

Waking up to the slimmest sound

One moment.

Ignoring the rattles jingling...

Another one.

A day of limitless smiles

Or a night full of cries

A moment of surprise..

Too mundane another one 

She holds me in assurance...

when I hold her in my lap.

She humbles me with her patience

when I am fretting yet again.

Another one in my life

with whom I can grow up a little...

one moment.

And be a kid

another one...

Kyna arrives

Sleepless Nights and frantic days...that time is back...rewarded sometimes by the toothless cherubic smile and frustrating at other times by the clueless cries. Kyna is born on 28th Oct 2012. When I asked Myra, what did she think when she first saw Kyna, Myra said: "She is so fair" -- so people do notice color, even children do. Anyway, we nicknamed the new born "Pihu" - as Myra's nickname is "Kuhu", it just seemed natural that the other one be called "Pihu".
So, a new journey begins and hopefully we are more prepared to endure it ..more so experience it with joy...hopefully Myra has taught us enough lessons :-)

Why?

So many "whys" from Myra sometimes make me feel ashamed - because of 2 reasons - one: how less curious I am ! two: I cant answer all her "whys" ! So, my googling has certainly increased, blame it on my lack of knowledge or awareness or my increased forgetfulness! But, yes its a good experience learning new things...otherwise our lives are generally confined to work place knowledge or current affairs if and when get time.
Like last evening - while she saw a sprout coming out of one of the seeds she had put for germination, she asked: "Why does a plant come out of a seed only?" or "Why cant doesn't a bumble bee bite and a honey bee bites?" or "Why cant we buy an ATM, so that I dont need to go to office?" :-) 

First Picnic

Having deadlines on Monday just have one meaning -- work over the weekend :-) How come whenever there is some critical job to be completed, the environment to get things done just collapses...Anyway, deadlines met are always rejoiced - even though you realize that meeting them doesn't mean end or reduction in work !! So, this is the harsh though most prevalent reality of work or life - that is if work is your life :-)

So, Myra had her first picnic today. I am sometimes amazed - how kids speak so much even though they may not share. The don't talk about what they did -- they just talk and that's the beauty of conversing with them. How their eyes sparkle, when they weave a story of what happened when actually something totally different happened...Was I ever a kid? Cant really believe that!!! They just look as if they are what you never were!! The squeals of laughter after snatching somebody's toy...and in the very next minute loads of tears when the toy is gone!! Anyway, Myra's first picnic and even after much pestering, she never told me what all she did - who wanted to repeat what was gone..she was too busy living that very moment!!! I know she will tell me in bits and pieces and when she does so she will also accuse me of not even knowing what her daughter did on picnic! I still remember when once she reprimanded me, when I had left her alone in the room ; "Mom/Dad, how can you leave your 3 yr old daughter alone in the room and go out!!" And then there are days when she says: "This is my toy room and I am busy, so pls go away!!" And all we have to do is agree...after all she is the boss :-)

My timeline....

If moments were bits and bytes, I would have owned over million memory cards by now...But they ain't and am no computer...But I have one...so I want to capture time. Let it run though, but just stop and watch it every now and then...then let it run and then again stop and watch the time that just passed by...

Just thought of capturing a few of Myra's varied moods, emotions, lovely talks...How many can I ? I don't even sometime notice them, they are an integral part of my life - as if my life is them.

Also thought of capturing my moods and emotions -- again they are too many...am always full of them, though they don't always translate into words, but I do try..

मेरे अंदाज़ को आवाज़ देने की कोशिश,
कभी नामुमकिन सी होती है पर करती हूँ मैं
लफ्ज़ कमबख्त कह ही नहीं पाते
मेरी रूह जो गुनगुनाती है बिना अलफ़ाज़ कहे ..


Just left a Saturday - with a wonderful evening. A hot cup of ginger tea with marie biscuit and hours of talk with a new friend. Realized how rare it has become -- when we can just talk, not about facts -- kids school, job, corruption, economy...but just talk, talk about life without getting into its mundane realities.While, she talked about experiences, I experienced the talk. The talk about expression, about how we see life, perceive people, how we have grown into what we have grown into today. Lovely...and precious - such times cant get repeated often simply because we don't have time. A long saturday evening turning into a long sat night....late night bouts of writing...so fulfilling! Sunday offered me Mehendi Hasan's audio..you can listen to it once every 5 mins of the day.... :-)  Watch Myra painting - not just painting but telling me the story behind her painting, what the bird is doing sitting on the tree she drew, who all live in the huts by the river. How she tries to fit in the cartoon characters she watches, into her drawings.

Varied emotions and varied thoughts, they fleet by and I try to live that tiny speck of thoughtfulness feeding my soul...feeding my soul to face a week of round the clock schedules. But I know those tiny specks will come by my way and I will be satiated every now and then....