Don't feel the pain

The sun peeks from the sky
A haze of light announcing yet another day
Full of actions, no time for words
My spirits get ready - charged as they say

Hurried morning, grab a bit or two
Smile as the mirror looks at me
Knowing how the day will be
So much will be done before I say adieu

Get the keys, drive to work
Tasks were never done better
Stick to the plan as on a tight rope
A smooth sail, not even a single stutter

Step out, tread on the cobbled path
Mid day, seems like a lifetime since dawn
Jumbled lists getting sorted mentally
Sit for just a minute, bare feet on the lawn

A whiff of air, knocking at my door
What my heart wants to shut out
But too close to ignore
Your perfume hits my soul
Like a dagger slicing my whole

My eyes look for you - futile
There are seas between you and me
Lists get clouded by fond memory
A minute transforming into hours
As I tread softly into the lost time

And as the night stars twinkle
I promise yet again
Tomorrow will be different
Stick to the plan, don't feel the pain

khel ka jashan - world cup

दिलों की धड़कनों को कहो
फिर बेधड़क होके धड़कें
कुछ अनजानों के साथ
आशयों  का कारवां फिर निकले

नज़रों से टपकेंगे सपने अब कई
एक सी मुराद लिए अलग से चेहरे
कारवां बदला सा होगा  हर कहीं
सारी गलियों से गुज़रके मंज़िल की  तलाश बस यहीं

गूजेंगे शहर एक अनूठे शोर से
उम्मीद के बिगुल, खेल के जशन
फिर सुर कई मिलेंगे इक नए राग को पिरोने
भूल के रंजिश जीत की ख़ुशी में भिगोने

Education - game of money

Give me money, I will make you rich
Finally One day...
when for the last time you pray
A job, comforts all for an educated you
As you define success
with no place for dismay

Let me load your shoulders
with bags so heavy
Practice you for future's boulders
That may stall your destiny
in a life full of opportunities otherwise
Follow as I say you must
And I promise, you shall be exemplary

Let me make you bow...
to courses so vast
long lists of extra curriculars
you may never guess its all a farce
Overall development and creating genius
scrambling like molecules of a Brownian
Scorching in the glory of my power so fierce

Don't talk about knowledge
instead I give you gratification
Degrees and awards to share with the world
Value for money as I control your creation
Don't strive for intelligence or passion
I will shower you with that education
Wishes will be dead to learn any more
After giving me money to place you at the fore

No longer be alone

Twinkle in my eyes, bubbling laughter
Day's filled with confusing dreams of ever-after
Its a swarm of well wishers
Happy faces and loud cheers
Claps I hear, as my heart flutters
Surreal surroundings, through the eyes' shutters

Layers of makeup, sparkling dresses
the perfect adorns with silky tresses
Do they hide the sines of my feeling?
As I tread softly towards an unrevealed meaning
Innumerable faces sharing the day
Just for now, let me gloat if I may

They say its a big leap as I go into tomorrow
I anticipate joy or would it hold sorrow
A last minute hesitation that's all it is
As he holds my hand, my eyes looking into his
Ready to embrace the new dawn in a life of my own
Gently as he whispers, my dear, you will no longer be alone

A Nation - Found Again

Once upon a time a nation breathed
Life was not that fair, still it dreamed
Of progress and of new heights
Days devoid of shackled frights


One day freedom finally knocked its door
A smiling democracy- it couldn't have asked for more
I grant you rights, so rejoice, it said
But never forget your utmost duty as you tread
Choose your leader just right,
That would give your nation all the might


Passion effervesced with the new born love
Of nationalism, patriotism, soul stirring stuff
But as it happens, time faded it away
The nation remained there, but nationalism went astray


Promises were abandoned, Hardships were forgotten
Rights were flaunted, opportunities were lost
It gave away its freedom yet again...
Not to the outsiders
To its own few who ruled for their gain


Still not late, though it did stumble and fall
The nation rose up again, now to stand tall
Long queues with eager mind
Decisive to leave the past behind


Not just knocking, but unlatching the gate
To prosperity and a changed fate
Joined hands took the reign
Boors will fall, there was no time to feign
It was their country, snatching back with pride
They pledged loud, world in their stride
Never to lose the freedom, in the air they breathe
Never to lose the nation - they had found again

Exit or not and those 32%!

Exit polls have never gathered so much of controversy and popularity as it has this year. It may be because of the autonomy enjoyed by the press today against all the negative publicity of the government last year or it may be that social media has never been as active as it is in the current times. News anchors and chat groups are busy with in depth and in breadth analysis seat wise and state wise. TRPs are rising which of course will reach a culmination point on the evening of 23rd May, the day of decisions, the day of deciding the next five years for India. The Sensex has been behaving like an exasperated bull trying to take deep lunges of peaked fervor and then panting a little every evening before resting for a while. I am sure there will be many leaves in the job sector tomorrow for the bourgeois wanting to be glued to their TV sets or other media on 23rd.


But why is the whole hullabulla about just another poll result? - this question is quite frequented by the ignorant and most of the NRIs who have stamped India with "India will never change"! And it will be only futile to explain that it is for the future of the nation that is at a position like never before, as the word 'nation' may not resonate with them.


Politics and cricket have always been the talk of each town in India - as so many hopes and aspirations are related to both of them. We are a huge population and to be a leader and a hero for such a vast number is no joke. It needs to be appreciated, awaited, anticipated and celebrated and this is what we Indians do. This gives us the ray of light at the end of the tunnel which I am sure is getting shorter and shorter, unless the world comes to an end because of climatic changes or the glaciers melting down!


While we look forward to who will exit from the political scenario, if not permanently then may be for a few weeks after the results (say to Columbia or Thailand), do we also introspect that why we feel so dependent on our government for devising our progress. One reason is of course because moving things through our bureaucracy is a task which even Hercules would not have dared to take up, but another may be our legacy. We always like to follow - leaders, kings, God, and now social media and trends! We feel safe that way - going away from the norms is too risky and time consuming. And being an Indian, we always have less time - more than half our lives is gone in fitting into the social structure or saving enough for our future generations or making our ends meet or if in Bangalore then dreaming of a startup or being stuck in traffic! Most of us want to play it safe - we will never relinquish our tea shop and go to bring about a social change and lead a faction of people leave apart a whole country! And there is nothing wrong in it. There is nothing wrong in being in the safe zone, being comfortable in our cocoons. Though unfortunately, 32% of us felt too comfortable to even go out an vote! And "comfortable" is certainly not the right word when I think about them - its being "reckless and soul-less".


Now, as we await for the real result to be declared, I hope those 32% will introspect that if "corruption" gets chosen over "development" by a small margin or because of some spineless coalition, it would be because of their lack of sense! It would be because they didn't want to change their ignorance into duty towards the country, a country of more than a billion people. The billion who will then have a leader or set of leaders who don't deserve to be there in the driver's seat. Those "by hook or crook" leaders will use country's resources, tax payer's money and their power to take decisions to regress the country by years and thus will substantiate those set of human kind who claim "India will never change". So, while I hope that those 32% do not cause any political calamity for the next five years in India, I also wish that for them the election results will also mean more than just an adrenalin rush - after all "Exit" is a strong word if it means exiting progress also for those 32%!

Clutching to my keys

The sheet covered him barely
Stretch did he
on the roadside, languidly
Under a scaffold, looking sturdy
Trellis it was to him
With stars peeking like tiny lamps
Into his night abode
enveloped with torns and rags
Holes filled with dreams
Eyes full of hopes

Tiny thoughts of big abodes
A day not far off
Though years may pass
in drudgery and penury
But those will be lost soon
One day own would be a home
His hands holding its key
Despair not known
Failure not perceived
People of his, happy

Here I am too, a gentle onlooker
Next to the same road
On the side but that is other
A parallel life of his
In the same world as me
Where heart of mine
filled with compassion and sympathy
Walk I may, a few steps
Bridge the gap and their misery ?

But, fear fills the soul
Not wanting to share
that is mine
The keys that I hold
The happiness that I hide
Disturbing it may be,
But its safe and settling
Insulated on my side
Clutching to what I possess
Not parting with what I can give

Walking away wondering
Where's more scarcity
On the side that is his
Or the one that belongs to me....

jahan mera dastoor

जमाना गुज़र गया ढूंढते हुए मंज़िल
तीर कितने ही चले
पर हसरतें हुई ना हासिल


दस्तूर बहुत याद दिलाते हैं दोस्त
चलाये जा बाण
निशाना लगेगा आखिर एक रोज़


पर आँखों में बहुत है निराशा के आँसूं
धुँधली दिखती है अब तो मयान भी
कैसे टटोलूँगा वो पड़ाव इतना दूर


क्यों ना यहीं पे कर लूँ मैं ठिकाना
सुकून और इत्मीनान का
फिर कोई और तीर चलाये दरबदर
मेरी मंज़िल वहीं जहाँ मेरा दस्तूर 

Embracing my finality

How do I write about
What I know not
Heard, seen, dreamt, but uncanny
Guarded by Angels...
for all thy being or only the chosen ones?
A new hand to hold
When leaving many behind

Do thee bow and the chains unleash?
Souls that were trapped
Now with joy they scream?
Messengers only too happy to abide
At the end of my life
Gladly collecting their prize

And...
Am I eager to be thrown?
The surreal me out of my real zone
Different as it may seem
It still may feel the same
Each world repeats the tragedy
In life renounced by others
And in death by my own mortality

Is it longer than the journey called life?
The reach to the final street
Is it a gold medal finally
For all the missed opportunity?
What for the sins I left
Would the oceans rise to accumulate?
Let me leave the disgraced
And only what fit into tranquility?

Would the angels finally gift me the wings
Alive I was but never could I get
The distant breaths of being free
What life couldn't give me
Would I finally have when I...
embrace the finality?

Falling out of love of Bangalore

Empty moments crawl slowly and scorching afternoon fades gradually - This year scorching afternoons have been spreading throughout the day. It has been and still is indeed a cruel summer. Even though the pre-monsoon is washing the evenings of Bangalore but rest of the day, it's the silent, hot and powerful sun - dominating the sky and dominating our lives.


Around two decades in Bangalore, I had fallen in love with the weather and also the canopy of trees. The latter was the first made to shrink automatically followed by the deterioration of the former. The heat pierces the skin now like small needles extracting the drops of sweat. Earlier it was as if the winter's "meethi dhoop" endowed Bangalore throughout the year. But now, its a tiring thought of being outside the shelters of ones home - during the day because of heat and during the evening because of traffic.


How have we reached here? Was it really the economy boom in Bangalore which has now become a curse for the residents? Why have we let the situation out of our hands - why have the value of time suddenly become minuscule with those endless long hours in traffic? Today, just to travel to airport and back it takes half a day! - Half a day on the road and rest half with a headache having driven nearly a hundred kilometers in the senseless traffic on a brutally sunny day. Traffic - adding years to our age - straining eyes, crinkled foreheads and exasperated souls!

So this is today. What about tomorrow? What about the years to follow? May be I will be totally out of love of Bangalore by then. After all love doesn't last forever - not even with a city!

For my daughter on mother's day

आज तुमसे बहुत तोहफे मिले
और बोली तुमने
ख़ास सी बातें अनमोल
सुबह से ही कहा तुमने
आज मदर्स डे है
माँ, तुम्हारा हर पल हो
जैसे हीरों से जड़ा
किरणों की तरह जगमगाये हर रोज़

यह नयी परिभाषा मेरी
सालों पहले जो तुमने थी सजाई
नया अनजान सा सफर
हुआ था शुरू ..
जिसकी डोर कभी तुमने थामी
और कभी मुझे थी पकड़ाई

कितने प्यार और हंसी के कहकहे
मेरे लिए इनाम बने
और रोष मायूसी के कुछ पल
जो बाद में मैंने अपनी यादों
के ढेर से अलग किये 

सालों की तुम्हारी सीढ़ियां और
रिश्तों की तुम्हारी मंज़िल
कुछ से रही मैं अनजान
और कुछ में थी मैं शामिल

वक़्त के पाठ हर बार की तरह थे सटीक
दायरे हैं माँ होने के भी
अनूठे सवालों में उलझी
अनन्य अनुभवों की मेरी सीख

बस छोटा सा तोहफा दो थमा
आज दिन ख़ास जो मेरा मनायो तुम 
मुझे सिर्फ माँ मत कहना आज से
कहीं इसकी दूरियों में न हो जाऊं मैं गुम
ना सोचना कि उम्र के हैं फासले
आखिर हुआ था एक जनम
मेरा भी संग तुम्हारे

कभी मेरे कान में कहना होले से
चलो दोस्त करें कई शैतानियाँ
और कभी हाथ थामना
सहारे के लिए नहीं
यूँ ही साथ कुछ कदम चलेंगे
बे सिर पैर की बातों के धागे पिरोये
किस्से कहोगी तुम हमेशा बेधड़क
मुझसे मुख्तकिल दोस्ती बनाये 
साथ मेरा ढूँढोगी तब भी
जब करनी हो दिल की बात
माँ को बिन बताये

chidiya

कैसे फुदकती थी तुम अल्हड
पंखों को समेटे
नन्हे पैरों से टहनियों पर बैठे
कभी थोड़ा सा उड़े और कभी
पेड़ों के तनों को खटखटाती हुई
मेरे ध्यान को तुम बूँद बूँद बटोरती थी


क्या पेडो में कोई खज़ाना छिपा था
जो दिन भर उनका साथ नहीं तुमसे था छूटता ?
मैंने तो कई काट के देख लिए
पर वो तो बेजान से मायूस से
सड़क के किनारे को घेरे गिर जातें थे


कितनी सदियों से तुमने खेल खेले इनके साथ
कभी राज़ न बताया मुझे इनका
मेरा भी तो हक़ था इनपे
इतना ढूंढो न अब उनको तुम
आयो हीरों से जड़े सिहासन पर बैठायूं तुम्हें
तुम भी रहो मेरे संग सोने के पिंजरे में


अब तो चंद ही पेड़ों का साथ बचा है
अब तो मेरी गली का मुख करोगी ही तुम
फिर भूल जाओगी उन  हरे पत्तों को
जो बस गर्मी के ताप में हो जाते थे गुम


पर यह क्या ऐ नादाँ चिड़िया
तू अपने परों को क्यों त्याग रही है
अजब ज़िद है तुम्हारी
कराह के जो मुझसे यह कह रही है
इस आकाश में उड़ान कैसे भरूँ
जब बंजर हैं इसके नीचे की ज़मीन
अब कण नहीं है इसमें जीवन का बचा
आखिर डाली डाली फुदकने का नाम ही है ज़िन्दगी

Let me be in love

Let me be in love
So that...
When I stand alone in a desert
Lost in the dunes of relationships
I believe there will be an oasis
when you will be with me
When I am crowded with faces
I will feel your eyes looking for me


Let me be in love
So that...
As the night descends
and the stars sparkle
The moon beams and so will I be
I believe your eyes upon them
Will be smiling with glee
sparkling with the love for me


Let me be in love
So that...
When I am pushed to despair
I will clutch to hope
Fueled by your thoughts
As I stumble on failures
My heart will still be sated
with the wishes of love
showered on me


Let me be in love
So that...
This world will seem always colored
with infinite hues
otherwise impossible to see
Framing the picture of life
like an impossible perfect
With the shades of heaven
On earth are there I will believe
If I am in love...so let me be...

थोड़ी देर थमने की बात नही है साकी

तेरे दर पे मेरे माज़ी का है ठिकाना

चल तो दूंगा अपनी डगर पे फिर से

पर नशे में कमबख्त जिंदगी 

फिर छूट जाएगी मैखाने में

Many words have been written now for the past few years , mostly in the form of poetry and short prose. Thoughts have been poured looking for rhyming words constricted by the length of the poetry form. The pen has been active - lately more than ever. The place has been same, may be the same desk but the air has been different, I guess a bit more polluted more dusty certainly. New lines peeping on the dermis of  my face, call it experience, term it as age. It may not be the same though. Age doesn't ensure experience, after all our opposition leader is in his late forties!

Back to the changes since my last outpouring of thoughts on this blog a few years. There is a certainly a new addition apart from the all the kilograms gained - the shiny greys - those which would be in majority in the years to come. So, are they to be hidden under layers of burgundy and dark brown. Nah! I am definitely too lazy for that. The time spent could churn a few lines - I would value and remember that more. What if the mirror may not remain by friend for long. After all...

आईना आज भी देखे है गौर से..
जैसे फिर से पहचान मुझसे बनानी हो नयी
पूछता है नासमझ
वक़्त ने तुमको बदल दिया है
फिर आईना क्यों देखते हो तुम फिर वही...

I have never felt time to be so loud, banging my ear drums that it is passing by. The clocks are all silent though - but its the mind that hammers counting every second that slips by. Where was the counter when we are in out twenties? It was as if time would remain same forever and as if the mirror would see exactly the same face forever. And then one fine day for a decade or two - the hammering starts. Now you are busy trying to catch the moment a little too feverishly for comfort and then one fine day (I am sure of this!), the acceptance will dawn. The time will run past, but we have to be still, still so that we can feel life not bound by time. It's difficult but that feeling will come and the hammering will transform into humming. The mind will hum the music of life - and that will infact be niravana!!!

कमबख्त खवाइश इम्तेहान लेती है
 हर वक़्त
 मंजिल रूबरू हो चाहे
कदमों को खिंचती है ये दर बदर